It's good to have you back Miss Jones, I'm afraid we've got a lot of catching up to do.

Miss Jones take a memo

I recently receive a thank you card from a friend, it was a simple card expressing gratitude for a birthday present she had received from my sister and I. There was nothing particularly special about the present she got from me, it was neither expensive nor hard to come by, and yet she did something that is almost unheard of in this time we live. You ask, “Yeah, so, what's the big deal?” I want you to think back, when was the last time you received a thank you card for giving someone a birthday present? If you're anything like me it was probably when you were 8, and your mother helped you write a card for your Aunt Bertha expressing your deep gratitude, for the “lovely” hand knitted sweater (that smells like smoke) which you wear all the time. Now think back to the last time you received a thank you note, do you remember what it meant to you, how good, and appreciated it made you feel? I remember a specific time when I was feeling low, and someone sent me a card express gratitude for a act of service that I had done for them. God use that card to pick me off the ground and get me going again. Do you know something? That person has treasures in heaven because they allowed God to work through them to encourage me. Do you get my point? So why don't we show someone that they are significant enough to us to deserve a little thank you note. I heard it well put once, you'll never hear someone say, “Would you please stop sending me thank you cards, I'm tired of your blasted gratefulness?”

• Men are always making fun of women who spend too much time in the bathroom. Ever heard a husband vent about his wife taking too much time fixing her hair and doing her makeup? On the other hand, if a girl doesn't take care of herself, you're likely to hear, "Why do some women just let themselves go? I can't imagine why they don't just comb their hair or put on a little makeup."
  

• A guy takes a girl to a restuarant and she orders a side salad and ice tea. He than proceeds to pick on her for eating like a bird and caring too much about her figure. Of course, if the SAME guy takes the SAME girl to a restuarant and she orders a chocolate milkshake, cheese fries, a double patty burger and a fudge sunday, he's going to flip out about how much she's eating and that a woman shouldn't really let herself go like that.
  

•   Men are always making fun of Barbie girls. They feign a detestation for the perfect shaped platinum blond dolls. Then again, if a guy sees a girl with perfect proportions and long flowing hair he almost ALWAYS does a double take.
  

• A guy freaks out when a girl starts to cry. Then he complains to all his buddies about her crying and not telling him what's wrong. He also continues to remind her that he just doesn't know what to do when she cries, insinuating that she should just not cry ever...any guy who has ever met a girl who doesn't cry will tell you that she is a heartless and pathetic excuse for a woman who has no feeling and no femininity.
  

I conclude that what a man wants in a woman is someone who always looks pretty but doesn't have to do anything to make herself that way, who eats what ever she wants but never gains weight, who looks like a Barbie but doesn't look like a Barbie (figure THAT one out for me please), and a woman who never cries but is not afraid to show her emotions...

and we thought women were confusing

Miss Jones take a letter:

Dear Reginald Hendrix,

Congratulations, Reggie, on your resent graduation, that quite an accomplishment.

In regards to your request for advise concerning this business of waiting on the Lord, and doing things in His timing I have a few things to say.  First of all let me say, I know this can be a very discouraging time in your life, it's not easy to wait, I'm sure you’ve been plagued with thoughts like, "Am I doing the right thing, do I need to be out there pursuing something, Oh God am I missing something?"  I know your desire is to do the will of the Lord, and be obedient to Him, so I would like to share with you some things that the Lord taught me over the years. 

First of all, there will always be something to wait for; when you’re single you wait to get married, when you’re married you wait to have kids, when you have kids you with for them to grow up, etc, etc.  Waiting never stops, so this is a very important lesson to learn.  I recently had a conversation with a college of mine who was going through a time of waiting, and this is what God showed him.  He said, "God has given me a mental picture of what's going on while I, and so many others wait for Him to move.  The world is like a giant chess board, and God is moving his soldiers into strategic positions. 

Each little move on the chess board is a part of the big picture. No game can be won in one fell swoop. It takes patience and faith that the Master Hand is controlling the outcome of the game.

With love and admiration,

Your Godfather,
            Bo Regan